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Saturday, January 7, 2012
An Open Letter to the Parents of the Little People
Dear Parents of the Little People,
I would hear by like to make my request known to all of you to start refraining from stopping by Starbucks on the way to school to pick up a Venti-double shot Latte for your children. How do I know you are doing this, you ask? Why, by the way your children were acting at school today, of course. In fact, let me count the plethora of ways I could see this in your child's actions:
1) No one knew how to walk in line today. They were either skipping, hopping, twirling, or generally walking backwards. Some children wouldn't walk at all. Others would walk a little bit, but only if they were far, far away from the other children.
2) No one could stay in their seat in the cafeteria. Every time I looked up someone was in a different place. Two children were leaning out from the chairs at our table and were resting their heads on the table next to us. One child was repeatedly banging one of the fourth graders at the next table with his lunchbox. Several children were wearing their lunchboxes as hats. One child, for the second day in a row, had food in his lunchbox that literally exploded whenever he opened it - there was muffin shrapnel everywhere. (Yesterday it was yogurt residue - strawberry.) One of the most telltale moments was looking up and seeing one child chasing another child around the cafeteria- with a spork.
3) While the playground is usually a place where everyone can run and play, today they would not stop running. Or screaming. Or chasing. Or crashing their bikes together. Or randomly throwing the playground balls over the fence. Or barking.
4) Centers as well were an amazing time. The Home Center alone was a hub of Little People madness. Plastic food representing many different cultures was thrown around at random. Much talking was done on the play telephones - to people who were obviously extremely hard of hearing and very irritating. At one point, three or four girls started beating a baby doll with plates and other kitchen utensils - while laughing maniacally. "Oh, no," I said. "We feed the babies. We don't beat them." To which they answered, truly puzzled, "Why not?"
5) Finally, we got through both Small Groups and Music time, and sent all the Little People on their way. But not without consequences, as well as some general Wear and Tear on the teachers.
So tomorrow, parents, keep away from the lattes. Skip the sugary cereal. Cut back on the Mountain Dews. Or, if these actions are from a full moon, please just bring them back to school - later.